my wife - sesra

My Wonderful Wife

Sesra Yunita. June, 23 1976

How do I begin to tell you how lucky I am
to have you in my life?

You're my best friend in the good times
and my rock in times of sorrow.

You're the reason for sweet yesterdays
and my promise for tomorrow.

Hand in hand we walk together,

God's grace warms us from above.

It's him I thank each day I wake

for blessing me with all your love.

The sunshine in my morning

and the bird that sings my song.

The mother of my children and the air that gives me life.

My truest friend of all...

my heart, my soul, my wife.

( a poem for celebrating the 6th years of our wedding anniversary )

sex, lies and polygamy....

This is one of the hottest issue on the early december 2006..... I don't want to follow the controversy. I just want to share some point of view about polygamy.......

There are three kinds of argument regarding polygamy.

The first group represented the contra-polygamy who is mostly the associate-members of women’s center. They be firmly argued that polygamy in Indonesia should have been banned as it potentially leads to violence against women; mentally and even physically. The raise of education amongst women has increased their awareness about their rights.

The second group argued that Islam is originally monogamous. Polygamy is strictly permitted under certain circumstances or in ‘emergency’ situation such as the infertility and enduring illness of the wife.

The third is those who believed that polygamy is permitted by Islam for those who can afford to do so.

In April 2000, Mary Batchelor, Narianne Watson and Anne Wilde ( Utah - USA ) contacted more than 700 plural wives, asking them about their experience. They were promised anonymity because it is against the law and currently being prosecuted in Utah. Within six weeks, they received more than 100 responses. The comments were reprinted, organized according to the age of the respondent. Here is one from RS, a woman between 41 and 50 years old.

"I would never ever, worlds without end, even if I could control all events, willingly go back to being a monogamous wife. Even if I were to discount the possibility of eternal blessings, the blessings I enjoy here in this sphere are enough to cause me to become a she-bear when someone threatens them.

"As the only wife of a good man, I had a good marriage. We got along well, and our children were emotionally healthy. But at times I felt an unspoken demand to be all things to my husband: a great cook, an organized housekeeper, an inspired home-schooler and an individual who kept up with current events, pursued her talents, never fatigued, always remembered details, kept the family social calendar, emptied the mending and ironing baskets daily, never overspent, looked appealing at all times and looked forward anxiously for the moment he walked in the door. I tried to be all things, and my husband told me constantly that I was loved and appreciated. But I worried privately that my lapses stood out more vividly than my achievements.

"After a second wife entered the family, I saw my husband's eyes full of new respect and approval as he looked at me. This approval came NOT from my willingness to let him have another wife, but from his deepened comprehension of who I was as a woman, what strengths and gifts I had that were not an automatic part of simply being female genetically but were uniquely mine. Suddenly, I was seen as I had always wanted to be seen.

"Our relationship improved in other ways. Simultaneously with the second marriage, we had to revamp the way we spent our time together. I couldn't be more cheerful tomorrow after a good night's sleep because tomorrow he'd be elsewhere. He could't vegetate in front of the TV tonight and spend time with the kids tomorrow because tomorrow there would be different kids. We couldn't make tomorrow special as we were too busy today, since tomorrow wouldn't be there for us. So we instantly found ourselves putting aside less important things to make time for the more important.

"Then there were the nights he was gone. At first I felt socially embarrassed trying to make new friends and having a "single's" social life; but as I did, I found myself feeling more connected to all of God's people on this earth than I ever had. I found that I hadn't become a part-time wife, I had become a full-time human being.
"For years I prayed to know true joy, to have my marriage become the one I had dreamed of in my youth, and to understand myself and my place here among humanity. I would never have believed, had someone told me, that all my answered prayers would be wrapped up in one gift called plural marriage, but indeed they were. When I hear threats of our way of life being driven out of existence, the grief twists inside me. Please, please, don't try to take away the thing that has made my life whole!

"I have no confidence that were I to be my husband's only wife again, that the lessons learned here in plural marriage could successfully be applied in a monogamous relationship. I have the marriage of my dreams (No, that's not true because I have never dreamed it would be this good) and two sweetheart sister wives who are my best friends and who sacrifice so that I might have happiness. So, my friend, this is no pretense. This principle is my happiness."

ohhhh poor aa gym..... ( jkt, shady dec 13 2006 )

reflection

My God ! it's almost the end of year 2006 ! just like before i try to think what i have done.......

Reid (1993) in her definition noted reflection as an active process rather than passive thinking.

She states: Reflection is a process of reviewing an experience of practice in order to describe, analyse, evaluate and so inform learning about practice.

Kemmis (1985) agrees with Reid that the process of reflection is more than a process that focuses 'on the head'.

It is, he argues, a positive active process that reviews, analyses and evaluates experiences, draws on theoretical concepts or previous learning and so provides an action plan for future experiences.

Johns (1995) notes that reflection enables the practitioner to assess, understand and learn through their experiences. It is a personal process that usually results in some change for the individual in their perspective of a situation or creates new learning for the individual.

Reflection starts with the individual or group and their own experiences and can result, if applied to practice, in improvement of their skills performed by the individual through new knowledge gained on reflection.

This process of reflection, if then related into practice, can assist the individual in gaining the required knowledge, leading to a potential improvement in the quality of the care received from that individual. The outcome of reflection as identified by Mezirow (1981) is learning.

So...... dont waste your future ! ( jakarta shady, dec 13 2006 )

love them now !

love them now !!!

If you’re going to love your daughter, please love her now while she's young and can know all the sweet tender feelings a father is suppose to show. Love your little girl, while she is living. Do not wait until she is forever gone. Then you will have to carve it into marble, your warm loving words on ice cold stone. If you ever have sweet thoughts about her, why not whisper them into her sweet little ears. Don't you think it would make her happy to know her father is willing to watch her grow? Please don't wait until she is sleeping and never to be woken. Then there will be miles of the earth between you and her. Then your little girl will not hear your words, and if she does it will be too late to respond because she will be gone! If you want to love your little girl, then love her now. You can teach her things I am unable to, and she’ll have plenty of time to get to know her father, before another gets to know her There is a tender little heart around you; thank God she’s too young to know. She is waiting for your love. Why withhold from your little girl what God has given you to give her... love and fatherly guidance. So if you’re going to love her, love her now !

ayya genit 

Malang, between hot and cold

Friday, April 2 2005..

Malang, like everyone knows. city with cold weather.
but, for me. Malang was so hot when i arrived.

i have a duty, to execute one of Tempo's agent.
uuuhhhh, it's happened again. just like before..
as an executor, bloody murdered ; now you 'Safaat"
have to be killed. my company send me to cut off
our distribution agreement. after i executed 'Dharsono'
king of Cirebon's agent and 'Teddy' Benua Agra Jaya.

there's two reasons to kill you :
- bad quality of your distribution handling
- optimizing our Surabaya sales representative office.

Journey to Malang ended with nice experience,
a cup of 'warm' soto sulung served with beautiful girl
the place was on Mitra shopping centre at the food court

between hot and cold, there is warm,
yeah it's a cup of soto sulung....

Going Surabaya

Cengkareng International Airport Jakarta, April 1, 2005.
this is not an april mop ! is it relevant to say about april mop ?
wow it's too rude..

something new on the gateway to the boarding desk section.
two nice & cute girls, with his smile and hospitality say hello to me
'selamat pagi pak, anda mau kemana pak, boleh saya lihat ticketnya..'
morning sir, where will you go, may i see your ticket please.
Then, her hand show me to the boarding desk...

yeah, usually i faced officer (men) with the dress like policeman.

i'm waiting flight to surabaya by Garuda Airlines at the f6 - waiting room,
unfortunately i can't find Koran Tempo there, only Kompas and Media Indonesia racks.
soon i contacted Jafar ( person in charge ) to solve it.

Plane landed at 11 am, Juanda Surabaya Airport. Why Surabaya ?
In fact the airport not located under Surabaya Govs, but in Sidoarjo area.

Pick up car from the Natour, now Inna Simapang Hotel, was waiting me, when i'm walking
trough the exit way.

on the way from airport to hotel takes one hour 20 minutes, too long for the short distance.
I don't know exactly how much km. we pass two fly over and passing the Graha Pena Building
one of the Imperium of press company, Jawa Pos. traffic was so crowded, like in jakarta.

Stop Smoking !

Quitting smoking requires a lot of self-discipline and determination.
If you have tried to quit smoking, you know how hard it can be.
It's hard because nicotine is a very addictive drug--for some people, it can be as addictive as heroin or cocaine.
Good Reasons For Quitting smoking is one of the most important things you will ever do:

- You will live longer and better.
- Quitting will lower your chance of having a heart attack, stroke, or cancer.
- If you currently are or in the future become pregnant, quitting smoking will improve your chances of
having a healthy baby.
- The people you live with, especially your children, will be healthier.
- You'll be freed from feeling constrained by public policies or being the subject of popular criticism--e.g.,
restaurants, airlines, stores, office buildings and other public places that don't permit smoking; friends and
acquaintances who have minimal tolerance for cigarette smoke and don't permit smoking in their presence.
- You will have extra money to spend on things other than cigarettes.

life with 4 wives ?

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies.
He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart.

The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

lala 

lala - my next little barbie

nadira salsabila tamara. nickname's lala.
born on april, 15 - 2003 jakarta.
she was so sensitive, more than her sister, ayya.

on my feeling, she will be an actress.
with a strong characteristic..

lala belok